Intrigued by cultural diﬀerences in perception and approaches towards the body, I use the advice and treatment given to me by doctors of alternative medicine as a trigger for the creative process. Finding conventional medicine sometimes too invasive and radical, I am researching how to strengthen my integrity by implementing preventive and on the surface less invasive, yet powerful methods. Sometimes I ask myself how safe those natural, incompletely verified health solutions are.
I was turning 30 years old when I started this project, and two significant things occured. One of them was a very painful discovery that a man I was in love with for the last two years turned out to be a sneaky player, tied up with arrangements that he claimed were his past. I was naive enough to believe him, and while life challenged him I was introduced to his disruptive emotional imbalance, narcissistic egocentrism, alcohol addiction, ruthless cruelty and due to his entanglement also to his family manipulations. I found myself in complete pathology, being afraid of someone that I loved before. The feelings of fear and love got completely mixed together, making me feel anxious as I never did before. Another, much worse discovery was that my Dad became a fourth-stage cancer patient. The man who through all my life served me as a solid rock, turned out to be an ill human himself, and whose near future was unknown and threatened. During one month period I felt like all my world has wobbled.
I turned the camera on myself, keeping on the alternative healing methods, and using photography as a therapy too. Through the camera lens I was looking for myself, feeling completely lost in the world, in a time when I should already be a strong adult. I was re-defining myself in relation to my mother and sister.